From Fiercely Independent to Able to Ask for Help

My Mom tells this funny story about me at daycare with my brother when I was about 3 years old. My brother Bob went by Bobby when he was a little kid. I was only 14 months younger than him. Most of our family referred to us as Bobby & Baby. The daycare staff heard my Mom say Bobby & Baby and they started calling me Baby. Apparently, I stamped down my little foot and yelled “ME NO BABY. ME JENNIFER!”

My Mom and I both chuckle at that one because it shows my determination to be strong and independent even from the age of 3. That fierce independence hasn’t changed a lot since then. I learned early on that good grades earned me a lot of praise and rewards. I mapped out my entire education and career path by about age 16. I was off to college a solid 8 hour drive away from home and only returned a few times a year. I interviewed like crazy in a bad economy to get some sort of contract job just to get out on my own in a little apartment in metro Detroit at 22. I have been fully supporting myself and adulting like a pro ever since.

Simon and I chuckle when we watch Gilmore Girls (our not-so-secret binge watching obsession). We are only as far as Rory’s freshman year at Yale, so don’t send any spoilers! We love the show and think its really sweet and interesting, but we cannot for the life of us understand how any college kid can be so attached to their parents and running back home all the time.

We were having the time of our lives at college and so ready to be out on our own. Part of it may be generational. Gen X is known for being independent and on our own from a very young age as the first generation to mainly have both parents working and being latchkey kids.

I still to this day try to power through everrrryyythang on my own before even stopping for a hot minute to take a breath and consider if I may need a little help.

This Week’s Shot of MINDSET

What I have realized with age and wisdom is that stubbornly trying to do everything on my own just leads to stress, overwhelm, and burnout. Life gets a lot easier when we reach out for help. This has shown up in my life in a lot of different ways. From hiring services to help care for our home and yard to getting a nice massage or healing work session from any of the great healing practitioners that I always get to know wherever I live.

It doesn’t have to cost a lot and it doesn’t have to take a lot of time. 2025 has a lot of crazy energy and uncertainty, which actually adds to stress, overwhelm, and burnout. Could be stress about money, politics, or the rapid changes taking place in the world. Slowing down, taking care of ourselves, and reaching out for help can be a real life saver. Don’t wait until you are in a full-on breakdown to ask for help. Reaching out to others is needed more than ever right now. It helps the one asking and it helps the one giving (proven scientifically).

Get into the MINDSET of knowing that you don’t have to do everything on your own. Some ideas to consider:

Ask Google, ChatGPT and/or YouTube to figure out how to do something you have been stressing out about. Chances are someone has already solved it and is ready and willing to share the answers with you in a quick article or video. I have to remind myself to do this often!
Ask your partner, family, or anyone you share your home with for help with home things if you have been taking on too much.
Hire occasional or regular help from experts if you are able to. This often gets things done much more quickly than you struggling to do it on your own. You don’t have to be the expert at everything.
Self-Care. I can’t say it often enough. It is crucial to stay healthy and balanced in the world we are living in. Ask for help for your Body-Mind-Spirit health. Counselors, massage therapists, energy healers, yoga teachers, meditation teachers, meal plans, free healthy recipes, health coaching, etc. These are just a few of the many expert services available in person, online, or often with apps or free articles or videos.

The options are endless these days. Remembering to reach out and ask for help is the key.

This Week’s Shot of HEALTH

One area where I have been finding myself a little off-balance recently is with emotional or stress eating, especially sweets. You may have heard of my love of chocolate and peanut butter! . I use sweets as a bit of a stress reliever. I seem to do it just often enough to keep on those last 10-20 pounds and feel not-my-finest after eating, in the morning, in my clothes, or in photos.

I finally decided to ask for help in this area. I found a great resource from an Instagram ad from Kelly Lyons. I listened to a webinar and she was speaking my language. Her program includes a ton of mindset tools to shift your relationship with food, especially with using food emotionally or binge eating.

If this is an area that you are struggling with CLICK HERE to check out the program I recently signed up for and see if it resonates with you. It is a very reasonably priced flexible program. It’s helping me be kind to myself as I learn to only eat for my body’s physical needs and to not use food (even healthy beautiful plant based food) to deal with emotions or even other physical needs like rest or sleep.

(It cracks me up every time she uses the acronym for her Food Freedom Society program because FFS means “for fuck’s sake” in the Brit world )

I am diving into these tools to release any remaining food issues from my life for good. I have come a long way with caring for my body with the healthiest food on the planet. I intend to release the emotional use of of food for good and will share my progress with y’all as I do it.

If you are interested in using the power of the mind to uplevel your life, I share mindset expertise every week, along with fun & insightful stories from my own life path from 80s hair band superfan to chemical engineer to health & mindset coach (what a journey!).

You will also see plenty of health promoting tips and recipes because I am blown away by the power of intermittent fasting + a healthy diet to prevent & reverse just about any health concern Mindset plays a big part in health and healing too, the power of the Mind Body connection is pretty mind blowing.