Do you ever feel you are always on the outside and looking in when it comes to this whole human connection thing? Do you tend toward shyness or introversion like me? Or maybe you’re a natural extrovert but still stress a bit about what others think about you.
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It is very interesting to me to look back on my life and I can see exactly when I went from a confident and even brash kid who was happy and totally sure of herself… to going into a shell and being much more quiet, introverted, observing, and thinking in my head all the time.
One would think maybe it happened when my parents got divorced when I was 5. I am always teaching people about the subconscious mind and how most of our beliefs are formed from birth to age 7 when we are in constant semi-hypnotic theta brain wave state. 
Many things can create subconscious beliefs very easily in those years.
My parents divorce didn’t seem to impact my self-esteem and confidence beliefs much at all. I had a great elementary school with teachers who challenged me when I wanted to learn even more. I was even confident athletically, winning almost all of the little ribbons for the field day activities as one of the tallest and strongest girls in my class. 
What seemed to have a big impact on my self-esteem and confidence was my Mom remarrying and having to move to a new school district the summer between 4th and 5th grades. I was about 9 years old. Maybe my subconscious is late to the party and stayed in my happy little hypnotic theta bubble a few years longer than most. Makes sense. I was the baby of the family and a bit spoiled and precocious.
I started a new school in 5th grade. They were doing some odd public school experiment with having 2 teachers, so we were with Mrs. Jozwiak most of the day, but then flopped over to Mr. Bauer’s class for a few hours of each day or week. Even more change for my overwhelmed nervous system.
SIDE STORY: One of the stories I remember most from Mrs. Jozwiak’s 5th grade class was when we had spelling bee 
practice and Mrs. J asked Cheryl Hignite to spell the word GRAPE. Cheryl was sitting in the back and probably not paying attention. Her eyes got really big, she hesitated a bit, then sat up straight and said: “Rape. R-A-P-E. Rape.” Eeeeekkk! Mrs. J turned all red and enunciated very clearly. Grape. The word was Grape, Cheryl, try again. We all turned red over that one. 
Cheryl actually ended up being a good friend of mine. But going into a new school and not knowing any of the kids caused something in me shut down. I no longer felt smart, confident, and capable at anything I tried. I went into my head, got really shy, and was most often in observer mode. This has carried on through most of my life.
I really identify as an introvert and it has impacted all sorts of things in my life. How many friends I have (I tell myself I prefer a few close friends vs being super popular when really it’s often hard for me to make friends). What things I participate in (I really wanted to be a cheerleader, but never tried out because I was self-conscious about my developing body that wasn’t super thin). My career trajectory (don’t get me started on how well extroverted dudes are recognized and rewarded in a corporate setting).
The good thing is that I still keep trying. I work on my mindset, confidence, and self-esteem. I gather up courage to be more social, more outgoing, and to connect with my fellow humans on deeper levels than the digital surface type interactions that are so prevalent in our world. Below I share a bit more on why it is so important to have love and connection in our lives.
This Week’s Shot of MINDSET
Let’s get into the science of human connection. One of my beloved whole foods plant based doctors, Dr. Dean Ornish, and his wife Anne Ornish wrote an excellent book called UnDo It! How Simple Lifestyle Changes Can REVERSE Most Chronic Diseases. Dr. Ornish’s research proved decades ago that changes in diet & lifestyle can actually reverse the progression of most common & costly chronic diseases. And we have the power to reverse the aging process at the cellular level. Pretty cool and empowering stuff!
Medicare and many insurance companies cover Dr. Ornish’s lifestyle medicine program because it shows the biggest impact on changes in lifestyle, better clinical outcomes, health care cost savings, and greater adherence than other programs.
I am talking about the Lifestyle Medicine program in the area of mindset (although it certainly applies to health as well) because Dr. Ornish has 4 major components to the program. Two are more physical health focused and two are very much mindset focused. Here are the 4 key components of Lifestyle Medicine to REVERSE aging & disease:
- Eat Well: a mainly whole foods plant based diet proven most effective for heart health
- Move More: moderate exercise you actually enjoy and will do often, as simple as going for a walk, maybe with a doggy
- Stress Less: including some meditation, gentle yoga, deep breathing, and time for rest & relaxation
- Love More: love, support, and connection with others is transformative and deeply healing
I use this model in all of my health coaching. True health is a lot more than diet & exercise. This week’s focus is on LOVE MORE 
in honor of the month of Valentine’s Day. Some interesting statistics from Dr. Ornish on love and connection:
- Tens of thousands of research studies show that people who feel lonely, depressed, and isolated are 3-10X more likely to get sick and die prematurely from all causes compared to those who have strong feelings of love, connection, and community
- One third of people in industrialized countries and 40% of adults in the United States report feeling lonely
- Suicide rates have increased by 25% in the past 20 years
- Loneliness turns on gene expression in >1000 genes associated with chronic illness, chronic inflammation, immune activation, and cell proliferation
- Social support buffers the stress response
So how do you go about creating more love and connection if are shy, introverted, or feeling isolated? Some top recommendations:
- Being able to identify and express what you are feeling.
- Listen empathically to what others are feeling.
- Coaching and/or counseling can provide support and a space to connect and be heard.
The Health Transformation and PSYCH-K® Mindset Transformation coaching that I provide could be something to consider if you are looking to build self-esteem and confidence, improve overall health, and achieve the goals you want to achieve in your life. Which probably involves a deeper connection with your fellow humans as none of us can do it all alone.
This Week’s Shot of HEALTH
Speaking of connection, here are some great EASY healthy recipe ideas if you are planning a nice Valentine’s Day dinner with someone you love or as a gift of love to yourself. 
I LOVE the Minimalist Baker blog for recipes. She creates delicious, healthy recipes for lots of different diet preferences. The recipe searches under All Recipes let you sort by options such as season, special diet, cuisine, meal type, how simple to make, and ingredient. There are almost 2000 healthy recipes to choose from.
At Minimalist Baker we share simple recipes that require 10 ingredients or less, 1 bowl, or 30 minutes or less to prepare.
That is my kind of cooking right there! If you are needing ideas for a Valentine’s Day meal, breakfast, sweet treats, or an entire day’s menu, check out this roundup of recipes:
All sorts of ideas for quick, easy, and healthy:
- Appetizers
- Sides
- Main Dishes
- Desserts (Plenty of Chocolate!
) - Drinks
Enjoy and let me know if you too become a big fan of Minimalist Baker recipes. 
 Enjoy your week!  Jennifer Parsley |
If you are interested in using the power of the mind to uplevel your life, I share mindset expertise every week, along with fun & insightful stories from my own life path from 
80s hair band superfan to chemical engineer to health & mindset coach (what a journey!). 
You will also see plenty of health promoting tips and recipes because I am blown away by the power of intermittent fasting + a healthy diet to prevent & reverse just about any health concern 
Mindset plays a big part in health and healing too, the power of the Mind Body connection is pretty mind blowing.
You can learn more about the Mindset and Health Transformation work I do here:
I love hearing from you, so don’t be shy about commenting, especially if you have any questions.