That Time My DAD Hooked Me Up With His Coworker

In honor of Valentine’s Day this weekend, I shall share some of my crazy dating stories, mindset tips for loving yourself and attracting a wonderful partner (which I did in the end, thank the Lord), and some easy dinner ideas for cold wintry nights.

Let’s dive in to some of my early-20s dating drama. I was about 23, freshly graduated from engineering school and working at the General Motors Technical Center in Warren, Michigan. Doing research on lead-acid batteries for the EV-1, GM’s very first version of the electric vehicle.

I graduated in a bad economy and took a contract job with not-so-great pay to get some experience loosely related to chemical engineering. I couldn’t wait to get out on my own, getting my own paychecks, living in my own apartment, and starting my adult life.

I chose the GM job in metro Detroit vs. a similar lab rat contract job with Dow Chemical in Midland, Michigan (my hometown) because I was SOOOOOO in LOVE with my wild college boyfriend. He was from Dearborn and planning to work for Ford after graduation. He was at Michigan Tech finishing his mechanical engineering degree. I thought I would set myself up in the Detroit area, have a long distance relationship for the school year, then live happily ever after with him. WRONG.

I would drive up to Tech for long weekends. This is in the furthest reaches of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. A 10 hour drive each way from Detroit. I would go in to work super early on Friday, get out about 2:30pm, and arrive in Houghton just in time for a few beers before last call if traffic was OK and there were no major blizzards. Then have to leave on Sunday morning to get back to work at GM on Monday. Some serious girlfriend dedication right there.

Round about Spring Break time, I took a whole week of my precious vacation to go up there and have plenty of time with said boyfriend. Only to find out very early into this vaca… that he cheated on me with some sorority skank! My best friend Shelly didn’t have the heart to lie to me when I directly asked what she knew. **SIGH**

That vacation got really weird. I raged. I sobbed. I drowned my sorrows. I talked to him and thought of patching it up. I went home heartbroken. We had dated for 4 years at this point and I thought he was the one. I had to break up with him and I did. His family loved me so much and thought that I was the one. They sent flowers to my little apartment and consoled me about their son’s poor behavior.

I sobbed and drove around singing ABBA Gold heartbreak songs for weeks…

Knowing me, knowing you, aha
There is nothing we can do
Knowing me, knowing you, aha
We just have to face it, this time we’re through
(This time we’re through, this time we’re really through)
(This time we’re through, we’re really through)
Breaking up is never easy, I know, but I have to go
(I have to go, this time I have to go, this time I know)
Knowing me, knowing you, it’s the best I can do

I put myself on the heartbreak-induced diet & exercise plan to lose any extra weight, look totally hot, and make him regret ever losing a wonderful, smart, gorgeous woman like me. And I must admit I was looking pretty darned good.

Eventually I was single and ready to mingle. It was Christmas time and my Dad wanted me to go to his shop work party with him. My Dad was a heavy equipment mechanic all of his life and was working at a place called Bourdow Trucking in Zilwaukee. Apparently the owner’s son was about my age and heard that my Dad had a good looking 23 year old daughter.

I was newly single and thought, “What the hell?” I drove out to the shop full of truckers and mechanics. The guy to girl ratio was solidly in my favor. I have always been ‘one of the guys’ and thrived in male-dominated environments. I remember I wore tight jeans and a bright red blazer with shoulder pads (it was the mid-90s still), dangly earrings, red lipstick. Looking very cute and Christmasy.

Dad introduced me to the owner’s son… he liked what he saw and was glued to my side at the party. I had plans to meet my friend Ann at a bar in Saginaw later that night, so I started to say my goodbyes. My new admirer wanted to go with me. He was going to ditch the family business Christmas party to go hang out with me.

I gently let him know I was going to a gay bar with my friend who had just come out. He didn’t care! The gay scene was not as open then, so I was pleasantly surprised that he was open minded. We hopped in my red Jeep and went off to meet my friends. He stuck by my side all night, went out on the dance floor, had a whale of a time. I really liked this guy.

He would come down to my little apartment in Livonia to see me quite often. I was also getting back together with the college boyfriend at the same time. We dated on and off for another 3 years before I finally let that dream die. The shop guy lasted less than a year. I am sure there were a few other in the mix at the time too. I was in my 20s and not the type to settle down with a high school sweetheart. It wasn’t in the stars to settle down with my college sweetheart either.

It took me one ‘starter marriage’ and well into my 30s to meet Simon, the true love of my life. My entire hockey team told me after the divorce that they knew the first husband wasn’t a good match for me. Two of them were even bridesmaids. Could’ve let me know earlier girls! I had to learn my own lessons in love.

My Mom told me she knew that I would stay with Simon forever because I had finally met someone as smart or smarter than me. I can see the absolute golden wisdom in that assessment. Simon is my soul mate, twin flame, my true Valentine forever and ever. Sometimes I think he and I are partly the same person. I tell people we are not a case of ‘opposites attract’ at all. We are so very much like each other. I think that helps me understand him so well, and he me.

All’s well that ends well with love, dating, and even marriages in my life. More about the mindset of love & attraction below.

This Week’s Shot of MINDSET

I get a lot of PSYCH-K® clients who are still looking for that perfect love relationship in their lives. From my experience helping them look at subconscious beliefs that are blocking this from happening, it most often comes down to self-worth and self-love.

You may have beliefs floating around in your subconscious about not being worthy of love. Remember, most subconscious beliefs are formed from birth to age 7. If you didn’t receive enough love or didn’t see good examples of healthy, loving relationships, beliefs can form about not being worthy of love.

Those thoughts and beliefs go on repeat in your head and in your subconscious, which is operating 1,000,000X faster than the conscious mind. You can then attract relationships and situations aligned with the limiting beliefs that you’re not worthy of love, you can’t rely on someone to be there for you, there’s nobody out there for you, etc. etc.

The great thing with PSYCH-K® work is that you get to release the old limiting beliefs and program the subconscious with the beliefs you want and choose to have. Supportive beliefs about love and relationships such as:

I love myself unconditionally.
I am proud of who I am.
I deserve to love myself, and be loved by others.
It’s easy for me to receive love from others.
I am worthy of an intimate, passionate relationship.
I am willing to risk loving and being loved.

Let me tell you, I was not thinking and feeling these things in my 20s after my college boyfriend broke my heart. I was looking in all of the wrong places for male attention in my life. I did a LOT of work on my beliefs and on myself. I watched a ton of Oprah and Dr. Phil episodes (even got asked to be on an Oprah episode with Dr. Phil to hash out my wonky relationship with the coworker in the cubicle next to me, another story for another day…).

I read a TON of books, started meditating regularly, and eventually started valuing and loving myself immensely. I wish I would have had PSYCH-K® back in the day to take some shortcuts, but I value the whole journey of my life. Hence I can share the highs and the lows with y’all and know that it was all valuable for me.

If you are interested in one of the fastest routes possible to shifting subconscious beliefs and don’t want to read all of the self-help books and write in to the Oprah show… you can learn more HERE.

This Week’s Shot of HEALTH

We are in the middle of winter. Time to bust out your pressure cooker or a big pot for super quick, easy, warm, home cooked meals. High Carb Hannah is a favorite of mine. She got super healthy and reached her ideal weight following all of the principles of The Starch Solution, an excellent book from my favorite plant based doctor and mentor Dr. McDougall. I am a Starch Solution certified instructor and still bring the principles into my health coaching to help people achieve all of their weight and health goals.

I have purchased many of High Carb Hannah’s recipe books and her pressure cooker recipes are great. They make big batches so you can have a hot meal and leftovers for lunches. You can set your pressure cooker on time delay and come home to a big hot bowl of soup, chili, or curry. I will be making this Creamy Wild Rice Soup this week:

Check out all of her recipes HERE. There are great categories like Instant Pot, Quick Cheap & Easy, Breakfast Ideas, and Maximum Weight Loss if you are looking to lose weight this year.

***One word of caution on these recipes*** For some reason, she rarely puts any salt in anything. These recipes are already whole food plant based no oil cooking. Not having any salt is just a bridge too far for me and Simon. We always add about 1 teaspoon of salt per 4 servings of any recipe if there isn’t any listed. That still makes the recipe low sodium and adds so much to the flavor profile.

If you are interested in using the power of the mind to uplevel your life, I share mindset expertise every week, along with fun & insightful stories from my own life path from 80s hair band superfan to chemical engineer to health & mindset coach (what a journey!).

You will also see plenty of health promoting tips and recipes because I am blown away by the power of intermittent fasting + a healthy diet to prevent & reverse just about any health concern Mindset plays a big part in health and healing too, the power of the Mind Body connection is pretty mind blowing.